Six Date Night At Home Tips For Parents

A couple weeks ago I wrote 6 Thriving Marriage Secrets for Parents, and in that post I wrote about the importance of dating ones spouse-even if that means having a date night at home with the kids around. I thought it would be nice to follow up with Six Date Night At Home Tips For Parents.

If you follow this blog you are aware that we are a big, homeschooling family on a budget, and that we have six kids. It would be natural to assume that romance for us takes a back burner-or died altogether somewhere along the way.

But thankfully isn’t the case. Be sure to read our 6 Thriving Marriage Secrets for Parents post-or listen to the podcast once I’ve finished it. In that post I share how we’ve kept the spark alive, and one of them was to date your spouse.

Today I’m excited to share with you the practical ways we’ve found to do just that. But first, let’s talk about why?

Listen To The Six Date Night At Home Tips For Parents Podcast

Why Put Forth The Effort To Date Your Spouse?

I went over some of the reasons why in the aforementioned post, but simply put, the biggest reason to put for the effort is because if you don’t then you risk growing apart!

A Brief Peek At Our Story…..

Sometime after our third child was born it had been so long since my husband and I had been out together, alone on a date. If you have little kids you know how it goes. Reasons to not take the time to go out can be numerous;

• It can be expensive to hire a babysitter plus afford a night out for some couples
• It can be hard for some to find a sitter-especially if you have many kids
• It can be hard to take the time off
• It can be hard to ask your spouse out if it’s been awhile and you’ve begun growing apart

In our case, we had all four of these reasons working against us.

Eventually we both realized that we were only growing further apart, and we needed to do something to change that.

For us-and I think this could work for many people-this meant looking to ourselves to put forth some effort and humbly take a few steps towards the other with loving actions-instead of expecting the other to step forward first.

How We Discovered Six Date Night At Home Tips For Parents

As our anniversary approached that year, I put my thinking cap on.

I took the first step and mentioned to my husband how badly I wanted to go out with him, and he took a step and announced that he felt the same. The problem was we had a small handful of children and didn’t know who to ask to watch them.

This time, we didn’t give up like we had in times past.

We took another step towards each other so to speak and we came up with a plan.

My husband said he was going to get off work early for our anniversary (to him that was a big step because we needed the money) and we decided we would have a date night at home and find a way to make it special.

That was my cue to take another step, and I spent weeks planning that date night, from what to wear to what to cook for dinner.

As the day approached I told the kids that mommy and daddy were going to have a very special date night. They were all under 8, but they got so excited about it, and on the day of our anniversary they helped me clean the house and make the special dinner.

Just for the kids I planned their favorite show for them to watch, and their favorite food.

We also talked about house rules, what an emergency was and wasn’t (just in case mommy and daddy went into their room for awhile ;-).

Meanwhile, my husband was taking another big step too, and making some plans of his own. Halfway through the day we got a knock on the door. My husband had bought a huge bouquet of flowers and had them delivered 9 miles out of town to our house!

This was a big deal to me because we were on a majorly tight budget!

The children were awestruck. I was awestruck.

That day remains one of our top best dates ever. My husband still brings up what I wore that day!

And that’s when it happened.

We had so much fun on our home date night, and from that point on we realized that it wasn’t so much going out that was the key, it was connecting, and taking time out for each other.

Another Important Reason To Have Date Nights At Home

We didn’t realize it until later, but that very first home date was the day our children began to see how special, important, and magical marriage is. By watching mommy and daddy humbly take steps towards each other with loving actions it was like watching a real life fairy tale to our children and even though they were young, they never forgot it.

Our older kids never forgot our first home date, or the excitement of it. That excitement over mommy and daddy having a date night never went away, in fact it was contagious.

As smaller children grew and more children were born into our family they eventually learned from older sibs that mommy and daddy’s home dates were very special and kind of like holidays.

A great example would be around 3 years ago. Our middle son was only around 6 (he was just a baby when we had that first home date all those years ago so he wouldn’t have remembered). The excitement of our date nights spilled onto him from his older siblings through the years though, and one day he decided to set up a date for mommy and daddy. For over half a day he covertly worked to set up a date for my husband and I, and even drafted an older sibling or two to do some heavy lifting for him with the table and chairs.

I had no idea it was going on but my husband knew-he had been peeking on them and pretending not to know what was going on.

I will never forget how I was having the absolute worst day (I was pregnant and in the 3rd trimester-need I say more?).

Eventually our little son came to get me and I kept saying I didn’t have time. Finally my husband came to get me and I believe I was crying at that point because of how crappy I was feeling and how bad the day was going!

“You really need to come see what he did.” My husband said sweetly.

Finally, I stopped crying and crankily stomped out the door. When I saw the precious scene before me and all the work my little boy did guess what I did? I cried again, only this time tears of gratitude and because I was sorry for being an ass!

We dined alfresco that day with protein bars lovingly cut up into perfect finger size pieces, all over a lovely scene set up for us by our burning barrel 😀 while our six year old son and 9 year old daughter waited on us! It was the most precious date!

The thing about kids is they are always watching, and they are learning even when you don’t realize it.

We learned that one of the best things a couple can do for their kids is to always work on having a good marriage and have those dates-even if you have to have them with the kids around. The kids grow in security as they see mom and dad in love, and they learn what a good marriage should look like.

Six Date Night At Home Tips For Parents

In the zero chance you’ve not guessed this by now, the most important couples date night at home tip for parents is to stop using the kids as an excuse to not date your spouse, and to get the kids involved!

Kids are amazing. Starting at around age 4ish-give or take for some kids, if you explain to them what is happening and what you expect of them, a lot of times they are willing to cooperate.

If you tell your kids mommy and daddy are going to have some quite time, a special date night, or that you and daddy need to talk alone and if you explain it’s really important and ask them to go play in the next room or play area, they often times will (as long as their immediate needs are met–this part is important).

Here are Six Date Night At Home Tips For Parents we’ve found that work for us,

1. Have a talk with the kids. Let them know what’s going on and how special this event is.
2. Have them help clean the house and make a special dinner. Make it fun!
3. Let the kids pick their favorite dinner and make it ahead of time for them. Make sure their needs are met.
4. Let them pick a favorite show, or a new movie they’ve been wanting to see so you and your spouse can have some quiet time.
5. If your kids are old enough to leave alone while you sneak away to a private room, plan to have an after dinner treat they can have as a during their movie (just be sure to make sure it’s not something they can choke on).
6. If at first you don’t succeed with your date night because of small children, don’t give up. Try try again! Expect some home dates will be a little more successful than others.

Recommended Resources

If you haven’t heard of the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman I highly recommend learning more about it and taking the 5 Love Languages Quiz. This has been such a helpful resource for hundreds of couples and families including ours.

Learn more about it HERE and take the quiz HERE.

Want to know one of our favorite resources for marital advice and encouragement? Contact me and I’ll share it with you!

If you enjoyed Six Date Night At Home Tips For Parents you might enjoy our other MARRIAGE related posts HERE.

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