Today I’m sharing my top 5 Easy Self Care Tips for Mama’s, but before I share these insanely easy and do-able self care practices I want address the reason’s why most of us mama’s don’t take the time to do these. Without first eliminating the mental blocks and excuses/reasons we don’t practice self care than no matter how easy and do-able the tips are we still won’t do them. So here goes.
Reasons Mothers Neglect Self Care
1. Guilt
I’m pretty sure this is the number one reason most mothers don’t practice self care. It’s because when we do, or when we even think about practicing self care we feel guilty for spending time on ourselves instead of the kids/or even hubby.
We have heard it so many times, that if we go without filling our cup for too long we eventually come to resent the very ones we are sacrificing our self for because we run out of energy and “steam”.
That’s a no win situation. I’ve found that when I take some time for self care that I become a more rested, nicer mommy and my kids. When that happens they not only like me better but they listen to me better too!
2. The Hubby
I know all the hubby excuses. If I haven’t experienced them first hand I’ve heard them from others. They go like this;
- He’s always working.
- When he’s not working he’s tired and I don’t feel right asking him to watch the kids.
- He complains if I ask him to take too much time away from his work or projects to watch the kids.
- I’m afraid he won’t watch the kids well enough.
And on it goes.
Let me tell you a personal story. The year was around 2011. We had three kids. My husband was working as a farmhand from dawn to dusk 7 days a week, but farmhand wages were/are very low (there were zero other job opportunities around us). So we were dirt poor and living paycheck to paycheck. I decided to start a part time business which was primarily work from home. The only thing was that I did have to leave for a couple hours 2 to 4 times a month for this job.
My husband was not happy about this at first. I knew that with my job I would be making more than enough to compensate for his lost time off work, but he didn’t know this at first and he worried he was loosing too much money if he took some time off early (on Saturdays btw) to watch the kids. He was reluctant and grumbled a bit at first but willing to try it out.
One of my issues, however, was I was scared to death that he wasn’t going to be able to keep the kids alive. Something deep down inside me forced me to overcome my fears, his financial worries, and push forward and soon 4 very good things happened.
The first good thing to come was he noticed and pointed out to me that the kids saved all the drama for the mama. They were easy going for him he said, but as soon as I came back it was drama city. He realized how it was for me day in and day out. After that he was better able to help me problem solve some areas.
The second good thing that happened was I got a little time to do something that brought me joy and gave me a creative outlet-which I badly needed.
The third thing that happened was the income I was making made those couple hours he had to take off work well worth it because of how much I was making.
The fourth and best good thing that happened was the relationship bonds that took place between the him and kids. This reason right here is beyond remarkable, and of the most precious value. Listen, if you are not leaving your husband and kids alone together sometimes let me tell you something. You are not doing your husband a favor or “helping”. You are actually cheating him and the kids. Fathers need uncensored time with their kids, and they need time with just him sometimes.
3. It Feels Selfish
After years of sacrificing self care things got so bad for me that I was actually on Dr’s and therapists orders to PRACTICE SELF CARE.
At that point I realized that one reason I didn’t was because I was afraid my husband would think I was being selfish if I did. After all it FELT selfish.
Turns out my husband learned something all those years ago when I first started leaving him with the kids, and my fears that he would think I was being selfish were all in my head. He was more than happy to take the kids-after all they were HIS KIDS too!
As I began to practice self care we both realized I became a much more peaceful, pleasant, rested woman which lead to being a much hotter wife! Remember that communication is a huge deal here.
It gets better though. In my our case my husband had also neglected self care, and so by my learning to practice self care this has helped him begin to learn how it important it is for him as well. From there it’s becoming a family thing!
4. To Many Demands
A third reason mom’s don’t practice self care is of course because of the demands and pressures of life.
Stick with me to the end because I’ve got something that will help you overcome this reason at the end of this post!
5 Easy Self Care Tips for Mama’s
There are times self care needs can shift. Below, I’ll share some of my current top 5 Easy Self Care Tips for Mama’s. Maybe one or two of these would work for you too!
5 Easy Self Care Tips for Mama’s;
- Taking a few minutes to splash water on my face and do a little 5 to 10 minute skincare routine-bonus points if I can make it last up to 15 minutes before I’m interrupted (a rarity but welcomed event when it happens)! And bonus points if you even go so far as to put some makeup on!
- Getting enough water/tea and taking vitamins every day.
- Here’s a great one for mama’s of many and/or littles….Sitting down and enjoying a cup of tea or coffee while watching the kids play/do chores/or even bicker if that’s what they insist on doing! Believe it or not sometimes you can gain great insight that helps you solve issues by just giving yourself permission to sit back, relax and observe the kids interacting with life or each other for a few minutes before jumping in. If the kids interrupt you feel free to tell them you are on your coffee break! Explain that you brain needs a little rest in order to figure out how to help them and ask them to give you a few minutes. Note that it may take a few times of explaining this to your kids -but this is something worth teaching them. It’s also going to teach them by example that they too need breaks.
- Checking out for awhile while the hubby is off work and home with the kids. Have you ever thought about how being a homemaker/SAHM is one of the few jobs that require you to live where you work? So go to the store (alone-or even with one of the older kids) to get out. When you’re at home take a nap while hubby watches kids, do your nails, take a shower-whatever helps you learn to use your home as a refuge instead of ONLY a workplace, and do somethings that brings you some peace and joy! Just like in the tip above-it may take some time and effort in explaining to everyone that you need some time-they’ll get it eventually if you don’t give up!
- Last tip; I love taking a break and looking up other YouTube mama’s that have similar walks of life as mine, I always find that watching a 10 or 20 minute video from one recharges my batteries so to speak and motivates me! One of my favorite YouTubers is Simply Scandish Home, and of course I have a YouTube channel HERE that you might enjoy as well!
Additional Reason For Mom’s to Practice Self Care
One day, I learned that my children were learning how to care for themselves by watching how poorly I was caring for myself. Two of my older boys especially were learning to neglect self care because they saw me do it.
When I realized my kids were watching and learning from me in this area my heart sank and I literally cried. I’ve neglected myself and driven myself so hard to the point of an auto-immune disease and anxiety, and this is the last thing I want for my children.
Think about it, Mama’s. The kids are watching. The level of self care you give yourself is likely going to be the measure of self care your children learn to give themselves.
How’s that for motivation for you!?!
I’ve learned to let the kids know when I need a break and I’ll even tell them why. This does two things, it announces to them that I need a break and gives them an example of how to recognize when they too need one and how to handle themselves when they realize it.
Surprising Perk To Practicing Self Care
Here’s the best part about learning self care. Not only will your relationships with your family be blessed, but there’s more.
You would think that less gets done when you take self care breaks. But it’s the opposite! Self care breaks recharge the mind and body and give clarity which helps with productivity! Think about it, how often to you find a job in the workforce that doesn’t allow breaks?
Closing
I hope 5 Easy Self Care Tips for Mama’s helps you see the value of self care and that it gives you some idea’s to make it happen in your life. Effective self care can look different to each person, and it can take some time and experimentation to figure out what works for you but it’s so worth learning-for yourself and your family!
Will you do me a favor? Will you leave a comment below for myself and others, share your self care stories and ways you have found to make self care happen?
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